A family holiday without a family!

I spent the last five days at the Oasis Whinfell branch of Center Parcs. There were eight of us motley student people living in a four bedroom log cabin thing. It was the kind of place I like because while it was full of nature (which I hate) it was very obviously tamed nature.

Nature knew its place.

And its place was to sit either side of the paths and not intrude. I like that.

I rode a bike a whole bunch for the first time in years. I am not built for bikes. I asked them for a chariot that I could strap to the backs of four other bikes and be pulled around like Ben Hur, but they were all out. I became very saddle-sore and nearly ran over many, many slow moving children.

Oh yes, for some reason it was a Scottish school holiday and the place was packed with Scottish families. Scottish families and the eight of us. Boy did we feel out of place. Mums and dads with their kids out enjoying a nice family bike ride being interrupted by frantic bell ringing and cries of "Death from behind!", "Hurry up you lazy goit" and "Squirrel! Five points!" from scraggly degenerates. Seriously, the bells were awesome. I'm going to start carrying one as an affectation and ring it when in danger or in doubt.